Be nice, know when to say ‘No’
Those who know me, nice would not be one of the words that are usually used to describe my personality. General feedback from people are more along the lines; direct, abrupt, or straight to the point.
To me there is a very fine line between being honest respectfully and being honest disrespectfully. The line of between these two nuances is mainly felt when you are preparing a manuscript for a book. Work with people who will be honest in a way that is constructive to creating a better outcome. Never work with someone is opinionated and an obstructionist to your goal. You don’t need distractions while writing your manuscript (or in your life).
Find people who will support you and provide you with honest and constructive feedback.
There may need to be more than one person to assist you to provide sufficient perspective and feedback on your writing.
Another facet of nice, to be considered, is seeking to understand where other people are coming from or what their circumstances have been. This understanding can assist you to achieve goals more smoothly and more rapidly. Further, it is important to remember that being nice does not mean that you say yes to every request, it is, very often, more important to say no.
If you continue to say ‘Yes’, you will put yourself in a position where you will end up saying ‘No’ by practicalities. You cannot be in two places at once, and you cannot be everything to everyone. Something or someone will need to be cancelled. To me, this is harder than saying ‘No’ in the first place.
The flip side to saying ‘No’, is that you are saying ‘Yes’, to another person or commitment. Keep this front of mind the next time someone asks for your assistance.
When was the last time you said ‘Yes’ and realised you should have said ‘No’?
How can you say ‘No’ next time so that you don’t need to put yourself in the same situation again?
Will you say ‘Yes’ to yourself to ensure that you keep to your writing goals?
Who can provide you with honest and constructive feedback?
Can you avoid obstructionist personalities and cynics?
Where can you source support and mentorship?
The next time someone says ‘No’ to you, please consider that they are saying ‘Yes’ to a previous commitment, and perhaps that is the person that you need to collaborate with.
